In self-help, there is no substitute for the power of humility. Years ago I worked with a Finnish coach named Junnu whose ringette team was struggling. They'd play well in the first period, lose the second, and try to battle back in the third.
He was pretty discouraged and asked me, 'What can I do to motivate them?'
I watched his team, and he was right.
After dominating the first period, they fell behind in the second, and had to scramble just to tie it up by the end of the game.
Yunnu wondered if there was a self-help technique he could use to to improve his team's consistency. I asked him to finish this sentence:
'One thing I do that motivates my team is--'
Well, he couldn't finish this sentence. His mind went completely blank.
He'd been coaching these athletes for 4 years, yet didn't know one thing that motivated them.
This realization startled him.
I quickly gave him a new sentence:
'One thing I do that doesn't work to motivate my team is--'
This time, he came up with an ending: 'Yelling at them. It doesn't work if I yell at them.'
Of course, the only thing he had been doing all season was yelling at them.
Junnu's saving grace was his humility. He finally acknowledged his lack of awareness about his team, paving the way to change.
After that day, he stopped yelling. He watched his athletes carefully, making notes on what they liked (and didn't like) about his coaching.
He was surprised to find that compliments were the only thing that consistently motivated them.
Two years later, Junnu's team was poised to win the National Championship.
He filed the team into the dressing room and said, 'Ladies, you have no idea how ready you are to win this game. I mean, look who we have in this room.'
One by one, he complimented each player: 'Kirsi, you're the ultimate buzzsaw on the ice, checking every player who dares to skate near you.'
Chills went up and down each player's spine as she absorbed his praise.
You probably already guessed that Junnu's team won. You're right.
To this day, Junnu still talks about the power of humility.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Lisa B.
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound self-help methods, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness." Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now. It is the culmination of several years of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement. One of the most common things I hear about this program is, 'This training has completely changed my future!'
This course is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum and the next dates for the course, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
Monday, July 17, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
How to Conquer Fear (part 1)
In self-help, most people do not conquer fear because they are ignorant about it. The first thing to understand is that all fears are not created equal. There are different types of fears.
For example, most human beings suffer from a deep-seated state of fear, lack, and incompleteness that is part of the human condition. This fear cannot be laid to rest simply by achieving goals. Only by attaining spiritual enlightenment can you free yourself from this fear.
Another example: there is a special type of fear called phobias, in which you suffer from an intense anxiety when confronted by a stimulus such as snakes, spiders, dogs, heights, elevators, flying, crowds, or public speaking.
Phobias can develop slowly or strike full-blown without prior warning. They are highly treatable, but you would not try to cure your phobia by attaining enlightenment. (If you suffer from a phobia, I do not recommend self-help for it. The most effective approaches to date for treating phobias are hypnosis and thought field therapy). You can see that different fears require different mental toughness strategies.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound self-help methods, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness." Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now. It is the culmination of several years of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement. One of the most common things I hear about this program is, 'This training has completely changed my future!'
This course is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum and the next dates for the course, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
For example, most human beings suffer from a deep-seated state of fear, lack, and incompleteness that is part of the human condition. This fear cannot be laid to rest simply by achieving goals. Only by attaining spiritual enlightenment can you free yourself from this fear.
Another example: there is a special type of fear called phobias, in which you suffer from an intense anxiety when confronted by a stimulus such as snakes, spiders, dogs, heights, elevators, flying, crowds, or public speaking.
Phobias can develop slowly or strike full-blown without prior warning. They are highly treatable, but you would not try to cure your phobia by attaining enlightenment. (If you suffer from a phobia, I do not recommend self-help for it. The most effective approaches to date for treating phobias are hypnosis and thought field therapy). You can see that different fears require different mental toughness strategies.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound self-help methods, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness." Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now. It is the culmination of several years of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement. One of the most common things I hear about this program is, 'This training has completely changed my future!'
This course is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum and the next dates for the course, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
How to Say No to Your Boss Without Arousing Hostility
It's a common problem in self-help: you have several bosses and they all want you to finish their priorities first (Or one boss who acts like all your projects are equally urgent). You want to excel, but short of cloning yourself, you cannot finish every task immediately.
How do you say no without arousing hostility in your boss?
Self-Help: The Commit-to-Commit strategy
You solve the problem by using the self-help strategy called "commit-to-commit."
When you commit to commit, you don't answer a request with just a simple Yes or No. Instead, you communicate with her to manage your commitments effectively.
Here's the 3 step Commit-to-Commit strategy:
Boss: Can you update the website?
Step 1: Immediately Agree to the Priority
This relaxes her because you are not showing resistance.
You: Absolutely.
Step 2: Take Control of the Conversation
Next, you take control of the conversation by asking questions. Your goal is to determine all the tasks involved and when they must be completed by. This way, you create a hierarchy of priorities. This is also a good time to clarify her expectations for the project.
You: Absolutely. So I can organize myself, which items in the project are the most urgent?
Boss: We need to code the site so customers can pay online right away. I need that done today. The new staff bios can wait until the end of the week.
Step 3: Negotiate for Time
Now you negotiate for time so that you can realistically accommodate all your bosses and customers.
You: Great. I'll make the changes to the online payment section right away. Would it be okay if I completed the bios by Monday? This will give me time to collect photos from several employees.
Boss: Yes, that's fine. Thank you for being organized.
You can use the commit-to-commit strategy to relieve your stress and build your reputation as a proactive leader at work.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Lisa B.
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound self-help methods, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness." Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now. It is the culmination of several years of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement. One of the most common things I hear about this program is, 'This training has completely changed my future!'
This course is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum and the next dates for the course, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Develop Inner Resilience
When traumatic events occur, the right self-help approach can be your savior. Midnight, in the middle of winter, ski instructor Stu Diver had to listen -- helpless -- as his wife Sally drowned by his side. Stu and Sally were engulfed in a landslide while sleeping in their ski lodge in Thredbo, Australia. They were trapped beneath several metres of rubble and mud.
Then water burst from the pipes, and Stu found himself trapped in the horror of listening to his wife's death. Silence followed. For more than two days Stu lay immobilised alongside his dead wife, in sub-zero temperatures before rescuers heard him.
Freeing him took another 12 hours.
Stu later said, 'In my heart I knew it was Sally's will, her resilience of spirit, that gave me the strength I needed to hold on when all logic told me hope had vanished.'
How did Stu manage such resilience in the face of this trauma? By confronting his sadness directly. In an effort to rebuild his life, Stu returned to Thredbo--even buying a house overlooking the site.
He says, 'Some people might think it's strange, but I don't. Thredbo is a small place and if I'm going to live here, I have to get used to it.'
Self Help: How to Develop Inner Resilience
Stu instinctively understood that resilience means healing yourself of trauma, and that healing begins when we confront our sadness without resistance.
The best therapist I ever met was brillant at getting her clients to do this. As soon as a client connected to his inner sadness, loss, or disappointment, she'd stop him from talking and say, 'Let yourself have that feeling.' He'd breathe a major sigh of relief, and let himself have the sadness. Healing soon followed.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound self-help methods, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness." Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now. It is the culmination of several years of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement. One of the most common things I hear about this program is, 'This training has completely changed my future!'
This course is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum and the next dates for the course, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
Then water burst from the pipes, and Stu found himself trapped in the horror of listening to his wife's death. Silence followed. For more than two days Stu lay immobilised alongside his dead wife, in sub-zero temperatures before rescuers heard him.
Freeing him took another 12 hours.
Stu later said, 'In my heart I knew it was Sally's will, her resilience of spirit, that gave me the strength I needed to hold on when all logic told me hope had vanished.'
How did Stu manage such resilience in the face of this trauma? By confronting his sadness directly. In an effort to rebuild his life, Stu returned to Thredbo--even buying a house overlooking the site.
He says, 'Some people might think it's strange, but I don't. Thredbo is a small place and if I'm going to live here, I have to get used to it.'
Self Help: How to Develop Inner Resilience
Stu instinctively understood that resilience means healing yourself of trauma, and that healing begins when we confront our sadness without resistance.
The best therapist I ever met was brillant at getting her clients to do this. As soon as a client connected to his inner sadness, loss, or disappointment, she'd stop him from talking and say, 'Let yourself have that feeling.' He'd breathe a major sigh of relief, and let himself have the sadness. Healing soon followed.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound self-help methods, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness." Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now. It is the culmination of several years of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement. One of the most common things I hear about this program is, 'This training has completely changed my future!'
This course is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum and the next dates for the course, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Why People Fail (part 2)
Mental Toughness Exercise for Self-Help
Take out a blank sheet of paper and write down your #1 goal in life.
Now, walk yourself through every factor I've listed in Why People Fail, giving yourself a ranking from 1 to 10 on each of them with reference to your goal. 1 is the lowest score; 10 is the highest score. For example, you might give yourself an 8 on time management because you work on high priority items most of the time.
This simple self-help exercise will make it abundantly clear what you need to do to attain your goal now.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness."
Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now.
It is the culmination of several YEARS of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement.
There's no fluff, and no B.S.
One of the most common things I hear about this program is 'This material has completely changed the way I think about my future!'
This training is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
Take out a blank sheet of paper and write down your #1 goal in life.
Now, walk yourself through every factor I've listed in Why People Fail, giving yourself a ranking from 1 to 10 on each of them with reference to your goal. 1 is the lowest score; 10 is the highest score. For example, you might give yourself an 8 on time management because you work on high priority items most of the time.
This simple self-help exercise will make it abundantly clear what you need to do to attain your goal now.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness."
Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now.
It is the culmination of several YEARS of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement.
There's no fluff, and no B.S.
One of the most common things I hear about this program is 'This material has completely changed the way I think about my future!'
This training is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Why People Fail (part 1)
After 15 years in the field of self-help I've discovered several concrete reasons why people fail. Here are the top 8 reasons people do not reach their goals:
1. Incompetence.
People lack the skills they need to succeed. 80% of businesses fail. It is usually due to poor sales skills. 50% of marriages end in divorce. It is usually due to poor communication skills.
The future belongs to the competent.
2. Lack of clear goals.
Only 3% of the population has clear, written goals with an action plan to achieve them.
3. Poor interpersonal skills, including:
Inability to receive criticism
Resisting tasks; being argumentative and stubborn
Poor listening skills
Inability to express ideas in meetings
Lack of self-assertiveness
4. Poor decision-making skills.
This is usually an extension of reason #1, incompetence. Most people either delay decisions or make poor ones that impact the business negatively.
5. Pessimism and its counterpart, learned helplessness.
People give up too easily when they meet resistance from a client, colleague, boss, or supplier.
6. Choking under pressure.
People have not been taught how to overcome performance anxiety to perform their best in meetings, presentations, and negotiations.
7. Laziness.
Most people are working at 30% capacity and think they are working too hard.
8. Poor time management.
People are working on the wrong things; they choose tasks in their comfort zone instead of priorities that really matter. For a practical self-help exercise that will help you avoid these pitfalls, see Part 2 which will be up tomorrow.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound self-help techniques, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness."
Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now.
It is the culmination of several YEARS of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement.
There's no fluff, and no B.S.
One of the most common things I hear about this program is 'This material has completely changed the way I think about my future!'
This training is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
1. Incompetence.
People lack the skills they need to succeed. 80% of businesses fail. It is usually due to poor sales skills. 50% of marriages end in divorce. It is usually due to poor communication skills.
The future belongs to the competent.
2. Lack of clear goals.
Only 3% of the population has clear, written goals with an action plan to achieve them.
3. Poor interpersonal skills, including:
Inability to receive criticism
Resisting tasks; being argumentative and stubborn
Poor listening skills
Inability to express ideas in meetings
Lack of self-assertiveness
4. Poor decision-making skills.
This is usually an extension of reason #1, incompetence. Most people either delay decisions or make poor ones that impact the business negatively.
5. Pessimism and its counterpart, learned helplessness.
People give up too easily when they meet resistance from a client, colleague, boss, or supplier.
6. Choking under pressure.
People have not been taught how to overcome performance anxiety to perform their best in meetings, presentations, and negotiations.
7. Laziness.
Most people are working at 30% capacity and think they are working too hard.
8. Poor time management.
People are working on the wrong things; they choose tasks in their comfort zone instead of priorities that really matter. For a practical self-help exercise that will help you avoid these pitfalls, see Part 2 which will be up tomorrow.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
p.s. For more free self-help articles on a variety of subjects, visit my brand new website:
http://www.self-helpnow.com
p.p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound self-help techniques, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness."
Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now.
It is the culmination of several YEARS of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement.
There's no fluff, and no B.S.
One of the most common things I hear about this program is 'This material has completely changed the way I think about my future!'
This training is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
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